It plays a sound that says, and displays a popup which reads: “Please do not press this button again. Thank you.”

Why doesn’t someone just fork it and change the name?

Like, I dunno, “Super Human Image Treatment” or “Consistently Lovely Image Treatment Oriented for Real Imaging Stars”

You can do that today. Just ask Chat-GPT to write you a bash script for something non-obvious, and then debug what it gives you.

Have you tried photopea.com ? I dunno if it’s light enough for you, but it’s basically Photoshop in your browser, done in JavaScript.