I have always been curious about this. Did you get them to use other services or did they stubbornly refuse and you just accepted it? I am talking using Chrome, using Windows, using social media like Tiktok or Facebook or Instagram, etc. Bonus points if you have kids because that is even more work in the privacy realm

  • sourcery@lemmy.one
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    87
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    1 year ago

    I don’t try and push my weird opinions on my wife lmao. She knows how I feel and understands and does what she wants and that’s okay. My advice is to communicate and respect each other even if you don’t agree and don’t be a controlling dork.

    • sock@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      arrow-down
      4
      ·
      1 year ago

      bros the only sensible partner here

      if one tries to push their techness onto their partner their partner is gonna get annoyed and leave. privacy hardly matters in the real world anyway

      • punkskunk@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        arrow-down
        4
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        privacy hardly matters in the real world anyway

        Agree with all of the above and especially this. It’s counterintuitive for me - I’ve spent a lot of time and money to set up privacy conscious services for myself and my family over the years. But practically speaking, our lives wouldn’t be any different if I hadn’t.

        I still do it and invest in it because I think privacy is a fundamentally important human right, but I have to recognize that it’s my own passion and not someone else’s.

    • giant_smeeg@feddit.uk
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      I got my SO to use a password manager.

      She got sick of pihole and my firewall blocking her Facebook memes, so she has her own segregated WiFi network, then she’s less of an attack vector for me.

      Aslong as she uses 2fa on her main accounts and has a password manager I’m happier than most.

    • merde alors@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      10
      ·
      1 year ago

      weird opinions?

      on the contrary, I think it’s a weird opinion to think that uploading personal photos and videos on surveillance capitalisme hubs is no big deal. It’s a weird opinion to think that you’ve got nothing to hide from perverted companies and states.

        • merde alors@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          arrow-down
          5
          ·
          1 year ago

          no, I see your point but you could have wrote: I don’t try and push my opinions

          you wrote “weird opinions” and in the context of this thread (see the op 👆), what do you think “my weird opinions” means?

          • sock@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            arrow-down
            3
            ·
            1 year ago

            so u think that whenever u do anything suddenly the big surveillance has a profile of you and theyre gonna kill you or smth. what do you think thats gonna happen.

            is this irrational fear of some phantom big government coming after you, not weird?

            u also just proved ur weird by getting so defensive about this. the goverment doesnt want ur number bro nobody does

  • sbv@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    47
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Part of relationships is accepting people. They behave the way they do because they have values and preferences and don’t always align with ours. Respect that. Make your case, but respect that they may not come to the same conclusions you do.

  • war@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    38
    arrow-down
    6
    ·
    1 year ago

    The idea that I would involve myself in my wife’s digital privacy habits seems perverse to me. That is her business. I assume she has sane habits, but I do not interact with her devices.

    • Atemu@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      21
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      You can but there’s a point where the SO’s actions actively invade your privacy too against your will.

      Real example: My SO uploads all her photos to Google Photos. Because I also appear on those Photos, I am now being tracked/used for training ML models/instrumentalised/whatever other evil things Google does nowadays against my will.

      Google doesn’t care whether I consented to that or not.

      • war@kbin.social
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        1 year ago

        I understand, and that can be a valid concern. I also appreciate that the particulars of each individual’s setup can be wildly different and constrain the extent to which they’re able to control their digital environment. I am fortunate that my wife and I are both highly computer literate, and that none of us are active on corp-run social media. I could just as easily have been married to someone who sent information about the both of us to Instagram and TikTok a dozen times a day, and if that had been the case, it would have presented a novel set of challenges.

        As it is, however, I have the luxury of having a private-minded spouse, a personal phone and a personal computer, the latter two of which constitute the full scope of what I can—and care to—control.

      • jet@hackertalks.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        1 year ago

        True. And you can talk to your wife about that. But unless you provide a better alternative it’s going to harm her personal workflow. And this goes for your friends, strangers in public, anytime of photos taken that you happen to be around for.

        I think the reasonable measure is to concede this point. Your friends are going to be social media users

    • angrymouse@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      10
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      This. Your wife is another adult that can disagree with you. You can explain, you can present ideas but if you disagree at the point of you considering intervening in her private life you should just break up.

  • superkret@feddit.de
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    31
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    1 year ago

    I don’t try to convince her. I’ve set up her Firefox with ublock because she kept complaining about ads, otherwise I leave her to it. In return, she doesn’t try to convince me to become a vegetarian.

    • dragonrules@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      This is where I’m at. If I push it any more, she will turn off wifi on her phone and complain.

      I’ve tried getting her to move to my hosted email instead of gmail, but she refused. She’s been wanting an Alexa speaker and even has the kids on board. That’s where most of my energy goes for picking my battles at this stage.

      • superkret@feddit.de
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        16
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        I actually tried. Read up on nutrients, cooked all my own meals from diverse, fresh ingredients, etc.
        It didn’t work. I was always hungry, my whole day revolved around food and after 4 weeks, my hair started to fall out.
        I still remember the feeling I had when I ate the first steak again after giving up. It was pure joy.

        I admire every vegan, I eat meat less than once a week, but my body just doesn’t seem to work on a vegan diet.

  • VegaLyrae@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    31
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    1 year ago

    I make the private option easier than the locked in version.

    Homeassistant will let us see our locations, run lights, run media centers, control AC, etc. So why do you need Google Home or Google Maps Location Sharing?

    Signal will let us chat over WIFI unlike texts, and I will answer it unlike a Google chat account. Before the SMS death it was easier since it did SMS and signal in one app, easier to convince someone if it can replace the old one and add new features.

    I configure two SSIDs, one for things I trust and one for those I don’t. I can run firewall rules and add security on the backend where they can’t see it.

    Tiktok you can run a campaign against it by saying it damages cognition, is harmful to youth, supports the CCP.

    You can run a pi hole style filter list,ehich might break some stuff so you have to be willing to play tech support.

    I don’t know anything about kids but it couldn’t hurt to teach them some simple skills like html so they get a taste for what’s happening behind the scenes.

    • OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      14
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      Signal removing SMS support was the final straw that made me stop recommending it to friends. I had 100% of my contacts on Signal before that, and very few have left, but my new friends all use Instagram/Kakao/whatever.

      I know that wasn’t very related to your comment, but UGGHHH

    • radau@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      1 year ago

      Home assistant really is a game changer. Not having ten different apps is great, finally got our roomba fully offlined with rest980 and it works better than the official app and doesn’t take forever to load or abrupty stop when there’s an aws outage

    • jet@hackertalks.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      Exactly this!

      I have different VLANs at home, I have a guest Wi-Fi, and my significant other simply uses the guest Wi-Fi.

      I’ve been able to convince them to use signal, but that’s about it. They’re going to do what they’re going to do. On their own isolated network

    • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      1 year ago

      “I will answer it unlike…”

      That’s not making things easier, that’s just forcing people to adapt to your niche choices or not be able to communicate with you.

  • Neil@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    21
    ·
    1 year ago

    I just added her MAC address to be assigned its own specific IP address, and she gets served a public DNS as opposed to my PiHole’s IP address.

    She expressed actually wanting advertisements, and at this point in life, I’m too tired to argue about it.

    • zwekihoyy@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      can I… hear her argument? I just wanna know what fallacy has concocted here lol. not trying to be insulting to your wifi or anything, just bantering a little bit, I’ve come across some that believe adblocking is piracy though, and I’m curious.

  • PriorProject@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    16
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    I wouldn’t say that my partner “doesn’t care”, but they take a much more pragmatic view than I which results in more exposure. In general, we do the following:

    1. To a first approximation, they decide what apps and services they use. It’s not a monarchy. They’ll ask for feedback when comparison shopping, but often the answer is “every dominant ecosystem in this space is terrible, the privacy respecting options don’t meet your requirements, this option is 5% worse and this one is 5% better… glhf”.
    2. For social media accounts that share posts about our nuclear family, we come to broad consensus on the privacy settings and practices. There’s give and take here, but I make space to use dominant sharing apps and they make space to limit our collective exposure within reason. If I have a desire to “harden” the privacy settings on a service, it’s on me to put in the effort to craft the proposed settings changes and get their buy in on the implications.
    3. I have many fewer privacy raiding accounts than they do. I both benefit from transitive access to the junk they sign up for, and pay a cost in my own privacy by association. This just is what it is. The market for partners that align with my own views perfectly is basically zero though, and honestly I probably wouldn’t put up with my shit even if I could find one.
    4. If I can self-host a competitive option for a use-case that I’m happier with… they’ll give it the old college try. But it has to actually be competitive or they’ll fail out of the system and fall back to whatever works for them. If we can figure out what’s not working we’ll sometimes iterate together, but sometimes it’s just not good enough and we go back to something I like worse.

    It’s basically like navigating any other conflict in values. You each have to articulate what your goals are, and make meaningful compromise on how to achieve something that preserves the essentials on both sides. As a privacy outlier, sometimes one also needs to be able to hear “I want to do normal shit and not feel bad about it” and accept it. But if we do want to reach for outlier privacy practices in some specific area, it’s on us to break that desire down into actionable steps in realistic directions at a sustainable pace and to not ignore the impacts to our partners of the various tradeoffs we’re proposing. Privacy is often uncomfortable and we need to acknowledge the totality of what we’re asking for when we ask our partners to accommodate our goals there.

  • Black_Gulaman@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    16
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    What good is your privacy of those closest to you can be used to track you.

    In short. I won’t force them, my spouse, to use privacy apps if she does not want it. I’ve accepted that absolute privacy in my case is impossible. So I use privacy apps because I like them not because I don’t want to be tracked. Heck, even my credit card tracks me, a service i cannot continue living without.

  • library_napper@monyet.cc
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    1 year ago

    I’d they’re compassionate, have them watch The Social Dilemma

    I’ve been surprised by the number of people who dont care about privacy but deleted their Facebook accounts after seeing that film

  • 1984@lemmy.today
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    I’m annoying my girlfriend by installing a dns ad blocker that sometimes interferes with her work, and I have to whitelist things when her work links doesn’t work (Microsoft stuff).

    It’s a bit of an annoyance but I feel strongly about not letting these companies get data about what we are doing.

    Just yesterday I installed a kodi plugin (called “up next” ), and turns out it’s reporting back what shows I’m watching! The only reason I became aware of this is because it was blocked by the dns ad blocker.

    I care about my apps not calling home and reporting what im doing. It should be illegal.

  • xenenon@infosec.pub
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    1 year ago

    My girlfriend has allowed me get her bitwarden so she can at least have complex passwords but thats about as far as I’m gonna get I believe.

  • Thee0023@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    1 year ago

    What I’ve done is set up a default DNS block list for the whole home internet, and given others their own. I’m using NextDNS, so profiles are easy to set up for individual people with different tastes. I have my own that is relatively strict, and I have lighter configurations for others so that less things are blocked for them. I think you can do a similar thing with a PiHole, but I’m not entirely sure on that.

    • maxprime@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      1 year ago

      I’d like to look into that further for PiHole which is what I use. I get a lot of complaints from the mrs so she usually just defaults to turning off Wi-Fi on her phone.

      • ram@lemmy.ca
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        It’s pretty easy, honestly. You can create rule groups and just assign clients to any combination of those groups.

  • thomask@lemmy.sdf.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    1 year ago

    IME something like Signal is an easy sell since it’s simple and works well. For all the fair criticism about relying on phone numbers it makes the onboarding easy. For other things compartmentalising helps, e.g., “okay we’ll collaborate using this cloud file storage but I personally will be accessing it through the browser while keeping most of my files in a SyncThing over here”. While I self-host certain things I don’t volunteer to do that for family/friends because it will be too frustrating for everyone if/when I let them down.

    In this kind of situation there’s a fine line between someone who maximises their privacy through tech decisions and someone who makes their “correct” tech choices their self identity. If you drift into the latter, being asked to compromise can feel like an attack, leading to overreacting and coming across as insecure and annoying. Not to psychoanalyse anyone in particular but sometimes I think people need a reminder.